sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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