it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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