So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
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The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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