Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
