It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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