u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
