oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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