We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
