So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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