So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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