Small penises have feelings too.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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