I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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