is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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