i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize