So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
