And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
