is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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