If i come over, it means nothing
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize