i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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