My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
