I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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