I'm really into asian looking animals
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Randomize
