never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize