You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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