im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
