Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
