The brown eye won't let me do that either.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
