forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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