my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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