Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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