Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
