I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
