Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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