If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
