that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
