WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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