true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My vagina is very pro this idea
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize