I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
