I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just blew my weed a kiss
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
