Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
