Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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