She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
