Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
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