At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
