it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
