So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
