i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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