Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
