Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
