I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
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I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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