do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
