Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
