I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Everyone says I win the strip club
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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