I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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