i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
