You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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