Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
