Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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