Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
