If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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