He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
