I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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