69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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